The final verdict.

In my last post, I was talking about the intense week I've had. I still don't know how my grades went not until yesterday. Yes. This is it. The time I was waiting for too long. The final verdict...

Yesterday, I went to school to clear all my unpaid balances (cos I'm really good at paying on time haha!) then I went back home. In my mind, I was still hoping positively that everything will be alright. There's no really doubt at all. And back in my mind I was telling "there's no way I would fail on (put subject here!). I put my my ass on it, I study hard and I just gave everything".. I think it's somehow a defense mechanism or a part of. Then I finally saw my grades. It's now official, I failed the BIG THREE. All my majors. Period.

I stopped. My heart was pounding. Beat by beat. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I feel so ashamed to face my parents not for the fact that I failed literally but for the fact that everything was given to me, all the resources, the money, the time, the support and everything and yet this is what happened. I'm such a failure. I really am.

After a lot of thinking. I realized that this is so far the greatest failure I had in my entire life. I have never encounter a failure like this before. But I knew if I quit and just stop here and worry about this over and over, it wouldn't take me anywhere. The least I can do is to start over and get back up again. And that is what I am going to do. Like what God says to Joshua, "Be strong and courageous, for I am always with you."

Point is, we are all lead to transition. Whatever it may be. I may failed a hundred times but I will always be strong and courageous because the Lord My God is always with me. Even though I don't know what would happen in the future, even I am in the middle of a transition  I know God is with me and all I have to do is to ENDURE and be STRONG. Sometimes God's will can complicate our lives, and no matter what we do, the mountain in our lives will not move and we all just need to CLIMB. Endure. Persevere. Sometimes, that's what it takes. And I believe if we follow God's command, to be strong and courageous, to do what is right, and just show up everyday even we don't know what will happen I believe one day we are all gonna wake up and will thank God that not one of his good promises has failed. Every promises has been fulfilled! I trust you God!


Love, A.

SOMETIMES LIFE WILL KNOCK YOU DOWN

Last week was just so intense. I have been through a lot that thinking about it put me into tears. This term was finally over. Grades were already released. Some made it. Most didn't. I don't know where I belong. But one thing I know, I may have failed this time but I will not let this failure dictate my future.

In a world where competition always exists it seems like grades matter more than they should. Students, usually took it seriously like its a matter of life and death. Especially those who put all their time in their academic life. Because we may not admit it, but we like to be grouped with the achievers and somehow feel important and proud of ourselves. But I don't see grades as the means of everything. I mean grades should not be our standards for us to be proud in ourselves. Just the fact that we tried and tried and tried is something to be proud of.

For the people I spent the whole term with, I want you guys to know that grades doesn't measure our intelligence nor our capabilities. Grades are just merely a label. And yes, we got 5.0 this term, and so what? Yes we failed, are we gonna quit? No. If quit, we only prove to ourselves that we are really worthy for a 5.0 grade. It's really hard especially to confront your parents and see them being disappointed by YOU and somehow feel less worthy of anything. It's hard to accept everything that they will tell you and believe me it hurts.

Grades can never account for experiences. Numbers can never give justice to sleepless nights, caffeine-induced trances, and ineffable worries over dreaded requirements. The effort invested in producing a draft amidst tons of other paperwork can never be accounted for by a mere number. The relationships involuntarily strained by gridlocks during group works, sparse bonding time, or misunderstandings wrought from academically toxic dispositions just aren’t worth it. Still, grades comprise an integral component of academic life. The significance of these marks is not to be downplayed; life, however, should not revolve around these. Education is more than that. Life should be more than that. Because at the end of the day, no matter how much grades can seemingly quantify a student’s very being, each one has more to offer than what numbers can measure. -- Jesse Nicole Rubio Santos

I am still happy and I don't feel any sadness anymore because I put all my worries to God. I let Him handle it. Because if I carry all my worries, I cannot sustain it. I will just drown and drown all over again. In my 19 years of existence I still can't explain God's love for me. Its something I can't put into words. It's just so amazing how He works through me. Since I met Him, my life was never been the same. I started to see things differently. I thank him for every bad thing that happened to me. I praise Him when life is full crap. I always find myself delighted with the Lord and I my heart was just overflowing with joy.

Marks can never define who you are nor dictate who you should be. And as an irrevocable and indisputable truth, grades can never predict who you will eventually become. 

Lazy Sunday

I woke up really early this morning then went straight in front of the laptop. I'm using dad's laptop since mine was not yet fixed. In fact, I cannot believe I almost survived for a month without my laptop considering all my school files was in there. Honestly, I admit it wasn't that big deal like what I've expected. Though I guess my life could have been much easier! Ha ha! Anyway, my reason behind waking up early on a Sunday was just so lame. I just wanted badly to know my grades. Still no signs. Ugh.  And now I'm getting a bit frustrated. I don't know if I could really enjoy my sembreak knowing I have failed 2 or 3 subjects this term. It's not yet final though! It's kinda complicated, but its weird.

Living and loving it.

 Have you ever tried to be someone else? Like you started changing, and the old you has gone...? Because I did. An adventure is what I experienced. So lost in another world that I wasn't in reality any longer. I walked inside the reality of mystery and was blinded by it. I put my trust on it and started living it. Until such time that I was about to settle in I felt something strange. Like someone just whispered out of nowhere saying, "My child this is not the world that I want you to live in. This is not the world I have prepared for you.". Silence ran through me. I was dumbfounded. Motionless. The thoughts that ran through my mind added to the guilt I felt inside me. I'm struggling. My heart was pounding. I cried out...my lungs at the top of its voice cry out for help. The next thing I know I was saved. From that moment, I knew it was God. It was HIM who rescued me.

We may be different from one another but we only have ONE God. When I met Him, my life was never been the same again. He changed me. Everything about me began to disappear, like it never existed and it all became all about Him. He is my best friend. I feel his presence right beside me. I may not see him, but I can feel him. That is FAITH. I couldn't possibly imagine how my life would be without him. All I know is that, I am living a new life and loving it at the same time. I love him more than I could ever imagine. 

Dear God, 

I thank you for this day, for giving me another day to live.

 Thank you for your provision and for the unconditional love you have given me. 

You are now my life, in you I gain strength, and I would never ever walk away from you again. 

I'm sorry for having little faith and for worrying about too many things. 

Give me the power to overcome sin. I want you to take charge of my life and let your will be done.

 Love, A. 

Catching up a little bit.

It's been so long since I last wrote here. My last post was during the first day of this semester and time passed so quickly that it is already midterms week. Few weeks from now, it will be the end of this semeseter and students will come to know if their hardworks paid off. I bet most of students feel the same way I'm feeling right now, PRESSURED. I don't know, but perhaps we are all in the same situation.

All I can say is that every student will encounter difficulties but what we need to learn is how to deal with it. As I am writing this, I was exactly thinking about my own major dilemma as a STUDENT. I am not an A student or a geek or something, just an average happy-go-lucky student who dreams to be an engineer by proffesion. Well, you heard it right. Some peole say that for you to be succesful you have to get good grades, if not straight A's, maybe almost A's is enough. But I honestly disagree on that. I have come to met many succesful people who doesn't have a diploma or not a degree holder but still became succesful. How? Simply because they are well determined to succeed. They didn't quit. They hold on to their dreams no matter how bad the situation is. See, it's not all about getting good grades. Its how you will deal with every situation you are in. I am not saying that we don't need to study hard and just be an average student. I still believe that it is always great to be the best at something. My point is, even an ordinary people can be extraordinary in their own ways if they just believe.

Believe that everything will be okay in the right time.
Believe that God has plans for us.
Believe that we have the power to be the best that we can be.
Believe that nothing is impossible.
Believe on yourself.

With that in mind, everything will follow. Success, understanding, contentment, and happiness. I just want to inspire students like me, that getting bad grades is not the end of the world. There are still hope. We should just trust in ourselves and strive more. If you fail, then strive more. If you fail again, strive more. If nothing happens, strive still. And believe me, everything will pay off. So cheers to all students! Don't be discouraged. Don't be PRESSURED. Enjoy life!

Let's all have a Happy Sunday!

Love, Angel

Back-to-school time again.

It's official, summer is over which means back-to-school time again. I'm pretty much excited about going back to school, doing home-works, school stuffs, studying for quizzes and exams, and anything about being a student. I feel most excited about being a 3rd year college student, I don't know why but it really excites me. 

My schedule is pretty good. No morning classes on Mondays which gives me enough time to sleep. And I just pray that the weather would just cooperate. So for now, I should get ready for my classes this afternoon. 

Hope you guys enjoy your first day of school. 

There is no cool way to run with a back-pack.

Love, Angel

How we spent the rainy day: Wednesday

I received a tweet from my friend Hayron the night before Wednesday. She asked me if she could come over at my house to watch the NBA finals, Dallas VS Miami and I said yes. I woke up yesterday around 8am and what I first did was open the TV, and checked what's happening about the game. Hayron texted me around 9am that she won't be able to come early. And then I watched the game, Dallas won, and I took a bath. We already have previous plan on how we'll spend the day, but unfortunately the weather was a bit crappy, but it didn't really stopped us. Hayron drove her sister and her friends to Nuvali, and then picked me up around 11am. We went straight to Ethel's house. She's also my friend, one of the most closest to me. We're roomies and I love her. Since the rain was really pouring that time, we decided to stayed there for the mean time while waiting for Lea-my other friend. We watched Showtime, and then decided to watch a movie.

We watched "The Rite", we thought it was creepy and all, but it was boring. So we decided to pick another one, and then we watched "The Fourth Kind" and this time it was really creepy. Unfortunately, Hayron's sister texted her to pick them up at Nuvali, so we didn't able to finish the movie. We can't even finish a single a movie. That's funny.

Hayron driving to Nuvali

Lea in the font sit.

Ethel sits beside me.

After picking Hayron's sister we went straight to LaSalle Zobel and dropped them there. Then we ate at SEX-Sinangag Express. Then we went straight to Town Center. We did a lot of walking. After buying school stuffs we went to Starbucks to have some coffee and took some rest. We were all tired, and it was already past 8pm. Gahh! Then we went home. 

Roadtrip + good friend + rain = Fun.

We know were crazy, but what fun would we be if we were NORMAL :)

Love, angel