Sunday, May 29

There's still beauty in the broken

I wasn't able to go to church today because of what happened this morning. I was getting ready and dressed up and then my older sister and I had a fight. Well, actually it started this way. I was telling her to come with us and ditched out her plans for today. Since Mom and Dad are still in the US for their vacation, I was the one who is responsible here at home. So I was expecting some cooperation and concern from her. Of course, I cannot do it alone. But I guess, the opposite is happening. I mean, she's really getting out of control. And yes, it was really hard. I burst out into tears, and started crying. The room was then filled with anger and sadness. Everyone was shouting, trying to control the situation. And then, she threw my phone away and the next thing I know it was already in pieces.

I don't know what to do anymore. I just cried, until no more tears left. Yes, she maybe won the fight but I gained something. I gained something more important than anything. I realized that there are some things that you cannot choose. There are some things you cannot change. And the only thing you can do is to accept it and suck it up. In life, I have made so many mistakes, that haunts me down. But I don't want those mistakes to be the reason why my life is a big mess but I want it to be the reason why I am way better now.

Changed. Simple word that means a lot to me. I maybe someone messed up of fucked up in the past. But what really important is that I CHANGED. And now, looking back at my mistakes, it doesn't really disturbed me anymore. I mean, I can now totally talked about it openly with other people. I guess, the key is that you just have to accept that you want a change, that you want to be better and stick to it. Well I can say it's hard, some people won't understand you. But in the end, what matter is that you know that you are not the same anymore. And I thanked God for that. For everything. God doesn't give up on me. And I know exactly in my heart that I don't want to get back to the way I used to be.

My point is that, we don't have to follow the trend. We don't have to follow what the world is saying. We don't have to do something bad, just to fit in. Sometimes, we have to take the opposite way to stand out among the crowd. We have to choose what we want. We have to decide on our own and ignore what might people will say. It's all about us realizing what is right. Remember: There's still beauty in the broken it's just harder to find. We just have to look at things differently. And be more positive that one day, everything will be okay. It may take too long, but I am sure the time will come.

Love, Angel

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